


Types of Comfort 2/2

by unluckyfairy13



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 07:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11031603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckyfairy13/pseuds/unluckyfairy13
Summary: Len and Ray start something but they don't know what is they have. Though Len finds that wants to know what they become. However when Len learns something from the future he finds that he will do what ever it takes to avoid its outcome. Even if means ruining his chance of happiness. To bad that when one tries to avoid their future fate it might come back even worse.





	1. With the Future in Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Here is Part 2 of Types of Comfort. You probably should read the first part. If not some parts might not make sense. Again first time writer so forgive me for bad editing or bad writing. And hope you enjoy it.

> **_“Never let the sadness of your past and the fear of the your future ruin the happiness of your present.”_ **

 

* * *

 

Len's mind is processing what is that he's seeing is right. And he can’t, he just can’t. But what he can’t help do is think back to the start. The start of it all, how did it start, how did it all. He remembers a bit of the start.

It started with time travel and adventures that had its moments of boredom. That's the reasoning behind why Len decided to make an unlikely decision and starts a sleep only kind of relationship with Ray. He made sure that Ray understood this is all it will ever be between them nothing more than that. But as time went on as they experienced happy and sad moments he realized that is was simpler said than done as Len can't help but grow closer and fond of Ray. Which in his defense is hard not to do as every time he found he needed comfort Ray always seemed to be there with the big, stupid, bright smile of his. Len doesn’t really know how or when but Ray just ended up being the person he comes to need and not just for sex which is great. However Len doesn't know how to deal with his feelings exactly though Ray makes him want to try. He wants to try to build something with Ray.

Ray, is that who he’s looking at right now it can’t be. Len thought he heard Ray’s lullaby coming from a room so he went to check the room. That's where he was now  looking  at what appeared to be a weaker and sicker Ray. No his Ray back in the waverider waiting for him along with the rest of the team for his and Mick's return from the mission. To steal something from the future that was supposedly made a very crazy isolated scientist. Was this the person, the one connected to all these tubes and machines that by the looks of it were the only thing keeping him alive. He seemed to be the only person around and he really looked like Ray it was uncanny, unnerving. Len couldn’t believe it as walked closer to get a better look him.

_‘Hello.”_ Len turned around ready to blast who ever it was behind him. It was just a hologram of a women. She just looked at him back. _“Hello.”_ she said again her voice sounded really human. _”Are you here to visit him.”_

_“Visit,who?”_ Len immediately realizing he probably shouldn’t of said as this AI might end up calling the police, can they do that now.

_“To visit Mr. Palmer of course. I do hope you are. He doesn’t get that many you know.”_ The words sink into Len and he can’t help but swallow back. He tries to clear his throat. 

_”As in Raymond Palmer?”_  

_“Yes,”_ the AI responded simply back. How can she say it so simply how can she in this situation like this.

_“That can’t be. He..he.,”_ Len felt  the need to calm down but his voice raised in volume, _“What happened to him, why is he like this, why is here?”_

_“No one knows. He was found like this. Barely alive. He actually been dying rather slowly and what I’ve heard a rather painful death for sometime now. But it’s almost over. He’s in a coma others say it won’t be long now.”_ Len walked closer, he touched Ray’s check softly.

_“Has he been here all alone. All this time.”_

_“No he occasionally there are some visitors.”_

_“Who?”_

_“_ _Well there is Mr. and Mrs. Queen and Barry Allen.”_

_“Is that all? Isn’t there Sarah, Mick or Me, Leonard Snart, Captain Cold? Does any of the Legends come?”_

_“No, never has any Legend come by. Are you one? If you are then I’ll have to ask you to please leave the perimeter. Or I will call the police.”_

_“So you do know who the Legends are.” “Leave especially if you are Leonard Snart, LEAVE NOW!”_

The AI really looked pissed off at Len but he wouldn’t without getting an answer, _“I won’t leave until you answer my question.”_ Len was now mere inches of AI hologram.

_“Fine yes I’ve heard of them from my creator,”_ the AI walks to Ray’s of side and smiles down on him. _“When he was creating me he always going on about some team called the Legends. On how they went on adventures and traveled time. He was always so happy when he talked about them.”_

_“Did something happen to them?”_

_“_ _Yes,”_ the AI then looked at Len straight in the eyes.

_"You all left. You left him. You all left him here alone and least that’s my take. I’ve asked him once and he gave the most painful expression I’ve never seen him have. I swore to myself I would never ask again. None of you ever came back for him. And I could tell that he was waiting for you all to come back. Especially you Leonard Snart he told me how much he loved you and how much you said you loved him, the promises you made. But you left him all alone with a broken heart. You hurt him the most.”_ Len couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could he, how could Ray be left all alone and the Legends and Len leave him. How could they, how could he?

 

_“Len..,hey Len I got the item you okay?”_ it was Mick, Len almost forgot about the mission.

_”Yeah I am here coming to you now.”_

_“Great let's leave this place it kind of gives me the creeps. Meet you at rondevu point.”_

_“Meet you there.”_ was Len could say.

_“I see so you only came to steal something from him. Not to get him,”_ Len didn’t know what to say, he had no come backs. _“Just leave and never ever bother him now or ever.”_ As Len walks away he takes one last look at Ray. Truth be told Len was rather shook, walking the empty halls he took a moment to lean on it. He sank down just covering his face letting of a small sob out. He then got up making up his mind.  

Yes, after seeing all the the future had in store for Ray, for them, even though he couldn't believe or simply didn’t want to believe that he could ever leave Ray. Leonard Snart knew how he can change this the best thing to do is ignore and push away Ray . That way Ray can find a better future with someone else. Someone that won’t leave him this how he’ll change Ray’s future. He won’t be alone, Ray won’t be alone. Len just needs to ignore and push away Ray. And when Ray confronts him on his behavior Len will be prepared to say what will hurt Ray enough that he’ll leave. Len will tell him he wants nothing to do with Ray anymore. That Ray was just there to kill the time. Len will do whatever it takes to change Ray's future even if that means that he won’t have one with him.

 


	2. Should've, Could've, Would've But Didn't

> **_“Did you say it? 'I love you. I don't ever wanna live without you. You changed my life.' Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But every now and then look around. Drink it in. 'Cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.”_ **

 

* * *

 

As he hears the shot he closes his eyes readying himself for the pain and impact. But it doesn’t come all he hears is Mick scream.

" _Noooo!”_ Len then gets a completely awful feeling of dread as he now fears opening his eyes. Something tells him not to open them. To just keep them shut. Despite that another part of tell him he has to that he needs to or it will be worse. And when he does oh god he wished he listened to the first voice. Len can’t believe what he seeing and for a moment he even forgets how to breath. Instead all his mind can focus on is.. no this isn’t.. it can’t be.. no this isn’t happening.

_”RAYMOND!”_ was all Len could scream in a voice that echo the pain and hurt he clearly felt, falling to the ground. Some even turned to him. Len wastes no time to run to his side while Mick covers him from attacks. Len bends down to cradle Ray in his arms. He can see Ray coughing up a lot of blood and turns him to stop the coughing  while also trying to stop the bleeding from the gunshot wound on his stomach side. There’s so much blood, god there so much blood and Len doesn’t know what to do. All he can do is start calling, yelling, screaming for anyone to help them.

“ _HELP! HELP! HELP! SOMEONE HELP US! HELP HIM! HELP ME!”_  

Ray grabs ones of Len hands, “ _Hey Len it's okay, it's okay Len. It’s going to be okay. You're going to be okay.”_

_“How can you say that? Look what stupid thing did you do. Why would you take that shot for me. You're the one that needs to be okay not me?”_ Len can’t help but think that this isn’t this where he suppose to die as this isn't the future he saw Ray having. Ray just looked at Len, _“I couldn’t..let... you get hurt. Len don’t forget that I can tell when you're scared. I don’t want you to be scared. Especially since it doesn’t seem like I am going…” “Don’t you dare. Do you dare say or think or finish that sentence. I can’t lose you. Not after you made let you in and find comfort in you. You made me care for you to much so you can’t just die in my arms you go that.”_

Len then starts to drag Ray body for cover. Ray had a big grin on his face, _“You care for me. I thought you were starting to hate me.”_

_“Boy Scout I could never hate you. Don’t think it’s even possible for anyone to hate you. Never. Yes I care for you idiot,”_ Len was struggling to carry his body to a safe place, _“But I guess my latest actions haven’t exactly proven that guess I’ll have to make my life goal for you to know that.”_ Yeah Len was going to make sure that Ray cared for, that he was really, really liked.

Finally Len placed Ray in a safe place far away from the battle as he possibly could. It wasn’t even far. Len then got a good look at Ray again and covered his wound with both his hands. Len realized that Ray looked so pale and tired.

_“Really, that would be nice,”_ Ray’s smile looked smaller, weaker. How can he keep smiling like that when his eyes look dim. Len looked at the battle hoping it would be over soon so they could take Ray to Gideon. He’ll get better and fixed in no time soon.” _Hey Len I am getting sleepy,”_ Len turned his attention back to Ray and saw his eyes were starting to close. " _I think I am going to close my eyes just for second okay.”_ Len knew what that meant his voice sounded so weak. No he couldn’t let him close them because he knows if he did Ray might not, might not...

_“No Ray don’t. Please don’t. Just stay awake okay, stay awake for me okay. Stay with me,”_ Len cupped both Ray’s check so he was looking at him face to face. " _I'll do whatever you want. Just please stay. I'll do anything if you just stay. I need you. So please don't go away, please. You’ve stuck with me this long just little longer, no one's ever stuck with me so long. Just listen to me, listen to my voice.”_

_“With such an offer how can I refuse,”_ Ray tried to hold choking of blood back but could only hold out a little. _“Although are you just being nice to dying man.”_

Len had to tell Ray, tell him his future.

_“I am not. Listen I already have a picture of our future I promise we’ll have once you get better.”_ Ray could hear that Len was desperate.

_“Okay, let's hear your plan, hope you have it better planned this time then last time. Your plans are always good ones after all.”_ Ray said with such a soft weak voice Len thought Ray was getting a little delusional. Saying Len already tried to tell him a plan of a future together. Still Len began.

” _I promise you to take on normal, nice, fancy dates that someone like you is meant to be taken to. Promise I won’t steal anyone wallet’s to pay for it just yours.”_ Len then took one of hands and held Ray’s wallet. Ray just grabbed his hand and put it on his cheek and leaned into it giving a small chuckle. _“Then after have sometime being together I will search, take hours, days, even different time periods searching for the right ring to give you,”_ Len then gave a big sad smile, “ _And when I do find the ring that only fits you and only you alone I'll propose to you in the most cheesy but memorable way. So be ready for that.”_ Len gave a small weak smile. In return Ray gave another chuckle.

” _I am so looking forward to that.” Len continues,_

_“On our wedding day in front of everyone, our friends and family they will witness you become mine and I yours. I will promise to take and honor you the best I can.”_ Len began to run his thumb over Ray check, god he never felt so cold. Len was used to Ray being the warmer of the two. He then recalls all the time Ray held him and regrets not really appreciate how warm Ray is. But Len will now, he’ll appreciate his warmth.

_“Then we'll find a big but modest home that I’ve only ever dreamed of having since I was a kid to raise our family.”_ Len’s body starts to shake a little _,”And though I am going to be scared that I'll be just like my father I know as long as I am with you I'll be okay.”_ Ray then weakly took a tighter hold of Len’s hand. Len was struggling to continue he guess Ray sensed this.

_“We'll even tell our kids and grand-kids stories of about the fastest man alive, the green archer that watches over a city and of course the legends that guard and protect all of time how about that Len,"_ Ray told Len out of breath.

_"Yeah I even bet that you, Raymond will even tell them about a couple of bad rogues that aren't so bad. Oh and you're definitely teaching me your lullaby so I can sing to them.”_

Len pushed their foreheads together and closed his eyes in hopes of stopping the his tears that were threatening to fall.

“I _know that we’ll probably have their ups and downs but as long as we grow old together it will be well worth it. So what do you say Raymond will you live for this future of ours.”_ Len finally opens his eyes and looks down at Ray. His tears start pouring out. Len immediately noticed Ray still has a small smile on but his eyes were closed. Len shook Ray, he was cold, _”Hey pretty boy..,”_ he wasn’t moving, ” _boy scout..Raymond…Raymond, RAY!”_ Len then felt a hand on his back, it was Mick’s. He looked at Snart with such sadness. Len felt Mick might shed a tear but was really trying to hold them from falling.

“ _Snart...Lenny he’s gone.”_ Len was now taking short small breaths.

_“No, no, no he’s not,”_ Len turned back to Ray. _“Come on Raymond prove him wrong,”_ Len voice was getting louder voice more hoarse, _“prove him wrong. Surprise him like you surprise everyone, like you always surprise me.”_ Len shook Ray’s body harder, his voice was starting to turn into a sob. He hugged Ray body and dug his head in Ray’s neck. Len ran his fingers over Ray’s hair. He began to whisper to Ray’s ears, “ _Please. Please. Don’t leave me please. I need you here. I need you to tell me I can be part of something greater, I need you to be here for me when I am in pain, I need you to tell I am home, be here to pull me back and tell me I can be more than my past.. Please I you need to you ….I need you to know that I..I..love you…”_


	3. Gray Clouds & Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything it hurts. It just hurts and Len wants the pain to be gone and go away. So someone helps him without.

> **_"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."_ **
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Len just stood there in a random bar, on this random place, in this random city but it wasn’t really random not really he thought. Len stood looking at Ray, contemplating if he hated time travel or not. On one hand he’s seeing Ray here alive but this isn’t his Ray, not really. No his Ray was dead. It was a cold hard fact that Len had to face but he didn’t want to. Couldn’t really and that's why he was here.

 

* * *

 

After Ray’s death Len wasn’t exactly doing to well. At first it was holding onto the fact that Ray wasn’t suppose to die there. Len explained to the team that they had to go back and change the events, that he saw Ray’s future and this wasn’t it. However Rip explained that what Len saw was only a possible future that could happen and time wasn’t set yet but now that they participated in these events they couldn’t change the outcome. They couldn’t risk breaking time if they went back to try and fix events they were part in. Rip ended with a broken nose and couple bruises after his explanation. Mick wasn’t even trying to really pull Len off Rip but eventually it was voted to risky to try. Len’s only hope was gone.

After that Len avoided everyone, he hated that they wouldn’t let him go back. He avoided that stupid look of pity everyone kept giving him, the look that they knew what Ray’s lose meant to him. Everyone at one point or another ended up cornering him and tried to give him a piece of advice about lost and how he could always talk to them. Even Mick tried to give him some comfort. God how he hated it. Mission with him came to be to risky as Len would go off rails when it came to the plans. He would make reckless mistakes that he knew might end up killing him. He was okay with it. Eventually Sarah confronted him about his death wish and told him does he really think Ray would be happy to know how he’s been acting lately. That Len was giving away the life Ray died to save. After that Len just locked himself in his room and only came out to hear the mission plans or to eat. Then he slowly stopped doing that to that’s when Mick  came to his room one night.

_“Not now Mick,”_ Len didn’t even look up from the floor. Len was just sitting at the edge of his bed looking at the ground.

_“When then? When are you going to get out of this pity party you're in and move on?”_ Mick just leaned against the doorway crossing his arms, _“Cause by the looks of it you're not getting over this anytime soon.”_

_“You don’t think I want to,”_ Len stood up to face Mick, “ _You don’t think that for one second I want to feel anything else besides this saddens. But I can’t no matter what I can’t.”_ Mick walked closer to Len.

_“Why?”_ Len gave Mick a confused look.

_“What do you mean you don’t know why? I just told you I don’t know.”_ Mick grabbed Len shirt.

_“Yes you do.”_

_“No I don’t.” Len’s voice was starting to break._

_“Yes you do Len! Think!” Mick began to shake Len and Len pushed back._

_“No_ !” Mick didn't back away not until he got his answer.

_“Think Len!”_ Len couldn't hold it back anymore he had to say it.

_“Because he’s not here okay! He’s not here to help me anymore. He not here to tell me it’s going to be okay. That things are okay that I am going to be okay. He’s not here to comfort me anymore. I depended on him to much and now he's gone because he tried to save my pathetic life. I don't know how to comfort myself. Because he not here!”_ There Len said it. He finally said what he didn't want anyone to know. How he depended on Ray so much that he couldn't function well without him. God he became soft. Len just leaned on a wall and sank down covering his eyes. Mick just stood there not really understanding what to do now. He just sat across Len.

Without reason Mick just hummed a song. Len looked at Mick.

_“Why are you humming that?” “Humming what?”_

_“Humming that lubally, it’s Ray’s lullaby.”_

_“Huh guess it is? Are you a bit calmer?”_ Len looked at the ground for a bit then back at Mick.

” _Yeah_ .”

_“Was it because of haircuts lullaby.”_ Len just gave a small nod. 

_“Wonder what's the song.”_

_“Don’t even ask I don't know either.He just hummed it a lot to m_ _e or himself never even asked.”_

_“So why don't ask him?”_

_“What?”_

_“Let's ask him. We'll go to a time when he was still alive and ask him the name of the song of the lullaby. You can also ask him how the hell he was able to comfort you cause clearly not one on this ship can. Not even me.”_

_“The team will never go for that. You’ve heard them. Can't risk time being broken.”_

_“But there still the jump ship,”_ Mick then began to explain to Len how when he was dead Rip had allowed him to visit a past version of Len to say one last goodbye. Mick and Len planned out how they would get it. Mick would distract and hold of the team while Len went to steal the jump ship. Mick said he would try to explain that Len needed to say one last goodbye to Ray. As it was only fair since they got a chance to say goodbye to some they loved. But Mick made Len only agree on the condition that Len couldn’t say or do anything that might change the future.

 

* * *

 

So here he was at a bar seeing Ray again, alive. Len picked a time when him and Ray just started to sleep together. He recalls this moment, he just had told Ray that sleeping together was all that they were going to do. Not try make a relationship out of it, Ray said he got it and to show he was okay with it they could go out just as friends. Len remembers how he decided not to show up because it sounded to much like a date. God he was such a jerk. Here was Ray waiting for his ass to show up. He wouldn’t at least past himself wouldn’t but now Len he wanted to take this chance to get sometime with him since after this he never will.

Len walked to the booth that Ray was at, it was well hidden all the way on the back. Guess Ray picked to make sure no one saw them in case Len did decide to show up. As Len got closer he noticed two things right away. One Ray had to many drinks around him. Maybe he wouldn’t need Ray to take an amnesia pill after this. The second thing Len noticed was Ray humming his lullaby. Len couldn’t help but give small smile at that. Ray seemed to have finally noticed Len’s presence. Ray looks up at him. 

_“So Captain Cold finally decided to show up. Man for a second there I thought you'd live up to your reputation of being a cold guy.”_ Len smile immediately disappeared. This was a bad idea Len began to turn around.

_“Please don’t go. I am sorry for that. I’ve had one to many.”_ Len turned around and saw Ray with a such a sad look.

_“You don’t have to apologize. I am the one that got scared of getting to close.”_

_“Really?”_ Len sat across Ray he couldn’t sit next to him. He was scared if he got close that he wouldn’t let go.

_“Yeah really,”_ Len tried to force a smile.Ray reached out and took a hold of Len’s hands. God they warm and gentle.

_”Are you okay Len? Is there something wrong. If you don’t want to be here you don’t have to be you know that right.”_ Len felt the need to roll back his eyes as he felt like tears might fall. Of course Ray knows when something wrong with him he always seemed to know even when they were barely starting to get to know each other.

_“Hey Raymond can I ask you something even if it sounds weird.“_ Ray gave Len a confused look.

_“Sure what is it?” Len then took out a small what looked to be a recording device._

_“Can you sing that lullaby of yours. With the words and all.” Len gave a small smile while Ray gave a shy one._

_“Well that's a little bit embracing to do.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Can’t I just tell you what's it's called you can search it up. I mean it's just You Are My Sunshine song.”_ Dramatically Len waved his hand and snapping his fingers.

_“That’s what the song was called. I knew it sound familiar. But no I want the way you sing it. No one sings it like you.”_ Len looked determined to get Ray to sing it.

_“Okay but I gotta warn you my version of the song is a little different. See the one who sang it was my nanny and she kind add something to it to make special just for me.”_ When Ray said it was his nanny that sang his lullaby to him Len thought back to when Ray told him about his family situation. He guessed Ray of this time didn’t feel yet comfortable sharing information about it.

_“She sounds nice.”_ Ray gave bright smile as he thought about her. “She really was. Okay here goes don't make fun and try to spot the difference of what was added.”

“I am all ears.” Ray began to sing in a soft warm voice,

_“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping_  
_I dreamed I held you in my arms_  
_But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_  
_So I hung my head and I cried._  
_You are my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine, my only_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are gray_  
_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_  
_Please don't take my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine away_  
_I'll always love you and make you happy,_  
_If you will only say the same._  
_But if you leave me and love another,_  
_You'll regret it all some day:_  
_You are my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine, my only_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are gray_  
_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_  
_Please don't take my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine away_  
_You told me once, dear, you really loved me_  
_And no one else could come between._  
_But now you've left me and love another;_  
_You have shattered all of my dreams:_  
_You are my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine, my_ **_Ray of_ ** _only sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are gray_  
_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_  
_Please don't take my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine away_  
_In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me_  
_When I awake my poor heart pains._  
_So when you come back and make me happy_  
_I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame._  
_You are my_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine, my only_ **_Ray of_ ** _sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are gray_  
_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_ _  
_ _Please don't take my_ **_Ray of_ ** sunshine away.”

When Ray was done the noticed how quiet it was and Len had a single tear running down his face. Then Ray and Len heard a clapping sounds few people that were around. Ray looked a little embarrassed but told people thank you. Len couldn’t help but think of the lullaby, the song and how it hurt that he could really feel its words right now.

_“So what did you think? Did you spot the little added words.”_ Ray smiled with such brightness. Not a care in the world.

_”It’s kind of sad.”_ Ray looked a little shocked but returned with a smile.

_“Huh I never really thought about that. It kind of isn’t? Now that I think about. Still it manages to make me a little happy.”_

Len needed to say this he had to.

“ _I..I,”_  he had to say this or he might never get the chance to, _“ I love you.”_ Len said in such a whisper Ray almost didn’t hear him.

_“What?”_ Ray looked confused. Len didn’t blame him. Not to long ago the Len he knew told him their relationship was nothing but sleeping together. He stood him up well he almost stood him up tonight . And now he was telling Ray he loves him. Ray lets go of his hands, _“Are you making fun of me?”_ Ray stood up ready to leave, _“Is that it? Cause Len if you are then you're just being cruel,”_ Ray was already ready to walk when Len stood up, took a hold of one of his arms. He held him tight, “ _Len you're hurting me.”_

_“_ _Ray I am not making fun of.”_ Len looked Ray in the eyes, _“I being honest with you here right now. Ray I..”_ Before Len could finish his sentence he felt a hand on his back. He turned around to see Sarah. Though it wasn't just her it was all the team. They had the place surrounded and empty of people. For Len not to notice that he really must be out of it.

_“Sorry Ray but I need to take Leonard for a private chat.”_

_“No you don't I have nothing to say to you.”_

_“Leonard come with me before you make things worse.”_

_“How can it be worse. You're not making me leave.”_ Len put Ray behind. Sarah rolled her eyes and began to a fighting stance. Len was ready to fight her and the whole team if he had to they were not going to make him leave. The two seemed ready to fight.

_“I KNOW I DEAD!” Ray shouted to the team._ Everyone turned to Ray with some shock. Ray continued, _“Guys I know I am dead and you guys I am guessing are my team further in the future.”_

_“_ _How on earth do you know that?”_ Rip said with a confused look on his face.

_“I didn’t until you said that. And have now proven my theory.” Everyone but Len turned to Rip. He really walked into that one._

_“How? I was careful not to let you notice.”_ Ray looked back at Len.

_“It wasn't really that hard to pick-up on it. Seeing as I did go with Mick and Rip to see your past self to say goodbye. And I saw how Mick acted towards your past self. Plus it didn't help that the team suspiciously cleared out a whole bar. It wasn't that hard to put two and two together. I am drunk but not that drunk.”_ Len couldn’t help but be happy on how smart Ray is.

_“And that is exactly why you're going to have to forget this,”_ Sarah held out an amnesia pill to Ray. Len once again stood between Ray the team.

_“No! Why does he have to forget. Let him have this memory that way he can know to be careful.And know what's coming.”_ Stein took a step.

”Mr. Snart we can’t allow that to happen.” Len yelled back with anger seeping out.

_“Why not?!”_ This time Ray put a hand on Len shoulder.

_“Because Len it would create a paradox. The only reason you're here is because I died. And if you warn about my death so that I somehow avoid it then there would be no reason for you to be here in this moment. But then I don’t get warning, so I end dying again then you come here again. And it just ends up being a paradox that might hurt or break time.”_  Jax screeched his head.

_“My head hurts right now.”_

_“You and me both kid,”_ Mick grunted back. Ray just smiled at them and stepped forward towards Sarah. Len didn’t try to stop him as he thought about the endless cycle the paradox would create. How one moment Ray would be safe and next dead with Len trying to save but failing and succeeding half the time. Ray took a hold of the pill then looked at the team and back at Len.

_“I have one request or maybe a couple request you guys before I take this.”_ Rip was about to reject this but Sarah spoke first.

_“Okay, what are they?”_ Ray smiled at her.

_“One you guys forgive Len and Mick for what they did to get here.”_ Both Mick and Len looked at Ray he had a smirk on his face.

_“Fine,”_ Sarah said quickly, _“What's the other requests.”_ There was silence for a moment. Finally Ray spoke with a combination happy and sad smile.

_“You all let me say goodbye to each other one by one privately.”_ The team was taken aback a little of this request. Len had enough.

_“Raymond why would you want that. You won’t even remember the conversation you’ll be having.” Ray turned back to Len,_

_“I know but you will. And I want to speak to you last. You won't deny a dead man's wish would you.”_ Len honestly didn't know what to say or find reason to deny Ray’s request. It seemed that the team didn’t either. So everyone stood outside the bar and one by one Ray called them to say his last goodbye to them. When they were done they would back to the waverider that was really close by. Soon it was just Len, Mick and Sarah. Mick and Sarah already talked to Ray but wanted to stay and wait for Len. They gave Ray sometime to himself before he called Len out.

 

* * *

 

Len entered the bar and sat in the same both that he was before the team interrupted them. As soon as Len sat down Ray sat next to him.

_“So today was an interesting day.”_

_“Really being told you're going to die doesn’t happen to you everyday.”_ Len intertwined his hands looked at them.

_“Well no. But I knew I was going to die,”_ Len just looks at Ray, he continues, “ _As a man of science I know everything dies eventually. It's just we don't when that happens that scares people that's all.”_ Len gave Ray a smirk smile.

_“True we are all destined to follow the same fate. So why follow the rules Raymond. Let's break them. What do you say. Runaway with me. Lets just go away from all this. The team and this paradox I seem to have created. Let's put those boy scout lessons to the test. Runaway with me .”_ Ray gave a chuckle, _“Want to go to Mexico.”_

_“No to obvious. They’ll find us right away.”_

_“_ _Where then.”_

_“I know Aruba hear it's a great place to visit this time.”_

_“Maybe would you really be okay with a warm place like that. I know heat isn’t your thing.”_

_“You're right you pick the place. Any place at all it doesn’t have to be there.”_

_“Really anywhere for me."_

_“Yes,”_ Len gave pause. “ _Just one condition,”_

_“What’s that.”_

_“Please stay. Stay with me. I don't care where we are, I’ll do whatever you want. I just care that we're together and okay. I'll do anything you want just please stay. I need you. So please don't go away, please.” Len felt his voice_ starting to break, _”Because when I look at you I am home. Hey pretty boy this is the most honest_ I’ve been _and I am scared right now Raymond, I don’t know what to do. Please tell me what to do.”_

Len felt himself breaking as he said those words to Ray. He began to shake and sink back to his seat. Ray immediately went to sit next to him. And just hugged him, Len immediately clung onto for dear life. Ray began to humming his lullaby and Len found comfort again. They just held each other for what felt like forever. Len wished it could be forever and another forever cause one forever wasn’t enough.  Finally Len began to calm down a bit, Ray noticed and faced him.

_“I am sorry I didn’t take when you said you loved me seriously. I am just used to being the one to say those words first.”_

_“Yeah well I am not used to being the one to say them. Like at all.”_

_“Well then I am more glad than that you could say those to me.”_ Len thought back on how much he held back from Ray. How Ray would go to him and help him find comfort. But how he never really back to him.

_“I love you Raymond Palmer.”_ Ray gave a big smile,

_“I love you to Leonard Snart.“_ That was it for Len. He shoved his lips to Ray and tried to take him all in. Ray also seemed eager as he brought his body closer. Soon they were making like a couple of kids. Len wanted to remember this, take everything in.

It was all over though when they heard a ring from a phone. It was Ray’s. He looked at and noticed he had a lot of miss calls from his team. _“I guess they’re wondering where I am.”_

_“Of course the are. You always make us worry.”_

_“Oh no.”_

_“What?”_

_“They can track me. They could be track me now.”_ Len realized what Ray was getting at. They were time travelers who were always running out of time.

_“I guess we’re out of time aren’t we, boy scout.”_ Ray got up and sat across Len again.

_“There are plenty of drinks around. You think the team will by that I got drunk and passed out.”_ Len got a headache and then a memory came to him. It was when Ray went missing for a couple of hours. He remembers being worried that something happened to him. If something did happen to him he would blame himself for not taking Ray’s offer. Then he recalls how he and Mick tracked Ray’s phone, finding Ray in this bar, passed out.

_“_ _Yeah they’ll believe it. But they’re almost here”_

_“_ _Okay. Wait before I forget here you go.”_ Ray passed Len his recording device and reached out a hand to Len.

He took both of hands and held Ray’s hand. With the other Ray took the pill and placed all their hands together. Ray began to get sleepy. Soon Ray placed his head on the table but still looked at Len. He squeezed his hand and Len felt tears threaten to fall. Tears fell out of Ray,

_“I am sorry I thought I could be strong. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could be brave and send you off with a smile but I can’t. I thought I could give you some comfort but I am scared Len.”_ Len leaned closer to the table and kissed Ray’s hands.

_“Don’t be. You are brave. You are one of the most bravest people I’ve known.You loved me honestly even when I didn’t deserve it. You were there for me to make sure I wasn’t alone and left out. You made me feel safe even when all I could feel pain,”_ Len began to run a hand over Ray’s head giving him big but sad smile.

_“You made sure I had a home to back to,  you reminded me my past did not define, you reassured me that I wasn’t ever alone and could depend on others. You made me value more the relationships I have.”_ Ray gave a small little nod, his eyes already closing. _“Raymond you are my Ray of sunshine.”_ Ray was asleep and Len slowly let go of his hands. For a moment a silent moment Len stood over Ray bend down and kissed Ray’s forehead. As he walked away slowly he let tears fall until he reached the door gave a last turn and looked at Ray. He wiped his tears and walked out.

* * *

 

Len walked to his room. He was all frustrated but didn’t know why. He felt his feelings were all mixed together and didn’t know to untangle them. He just paced back in forth in his room. His left hand began to shake and with his right hand he bit his thumb. After some moments of this Len looked at his desk. _“Gideon don’t let anyone bother me unless its an emergency okay.”_

_“_ _Alright Mr. Snart,”_ she replied quickly as she knew what Len was going to do. She knew after all he always did this anytime he felt lost.

Len went to his desk and pulled out two things. A set of headphones and a recording device. He went to his bed corner in the back. He plugged his headphones and pressed play.

_“Hey Len, I know that you're probably wondering where the lullaby I sang earlier is. Don’t worry I am going to sing it again. But before I do I hope your having good day though it probably isn’t. After all that's probably why you wanted to listen to this lullaby in the first place. I know it calms me down and gives me some level of comfort. I guessing it does the same. Ahh I am rambling aren’t I and you're probably getting impatient aren’t you. Either now as you're listening to this recording or as your waiting outside. So I’ll get to the point...Len be careful for yourself and others. I know it might be hard sometimes but let people in, let them try and understand stand you. Don’t do something stupid like you just did stealing the jump ship. Don’t go hiding away. You shouldn’t hide from you friends and family. But I know for you that can be tough for you do, let people in. I also know it can be rather lonely holding things in. So until you find someone you can find comfort in please know you can have my lullaby. I don’t own it or anything but feel free to sing it or hum whenever you want. It was brought me some comfort and I hope it does for you to. Also maybe one day my death won’t hurt you anymore...One more thing, Leonard Snart I love you. I hope that you know that you are loved. And if ever feel like you’re not get that crazy notion out of your head and know that you are and always be loved by me...So without further adieu,”_

_“The other night dear, as I lay sleeping..,”_

As Len heard Raymond singing he closed his as tears fell. He hoped Ray was right. Maybe one day his death won’t hurt him anymore. But it wasn’t today. He hates to admit it and disappoint Raymond but that probably will never happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it. Sorry it took some time to post. I hit some writers block though I am not to entirely sure if I liked how I ended it. Still I hoped you enjoyed it. And thank you for reading.


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